I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post.  It feels like I just made one -_-'  I guess time flies when you're in pharm school.  Last month, I wrote "update on life"...basically summarizing the first 5 weeks of pharm school.  So following that, here's "update on no life" which pretty much covers the subsequent 5 weeks...ish.  School is taking over my life..seriously > <  maybe this entry will serve as a warning/pre-caution to those who eventually want to enter pharmacy or medical school...lol.

          Pretty much, if I'm not thinking about pharm school or some pharm-school-related thing at any given time throughout the day, it's there, somewhere in the back of my mind.  Every night before I go to bed, I try to shut out all thoughts so that I can be at peace and actually sleep well, but I usually end up not falling asleep for an hour or two, even if I've already accumulated hours of sleep debt from the night/s before.

          The last two weeks were possibly the craziest ever...In undergrad, I often joked about failing my exams, but last Friday, I came close to having my first experience of truly failing an exam (healthcare delivery systems).  Needless to say, I feared for my life :P  I stayed up almost the entire night desperately trying to understand things like:

My head was spinning throughout the day, trying to remember all the things I read...The exam was all essay-type questions, so it wasn't just a matter of knowing the answer when I saw it...I actually had to be able to explain and support with evidence, which didn't help my confidence at all.  At the time of the exam, somehow I pulled through and knew the answers to a decent number of the questions and made some educated guesses for the ones I wasn't sure of. I had heard that last year's average was 10/40 so I felt relieved enough that I could answer so many questions.  I also had my pharmaceutics exam on Monday...I think I did well, but I can't be too sure.  It was the least of my worries since I'm pretty confident with o-chem, but it still sucked away my weekend...and having two midterms in a week was extremely unpleasant.

          I can't say it hasn't been fun though.  I had an osteoporosis screening training session followed by pledge activities the night of the healthcare exam, and I didn't think I'd survive the night since I was going on almost no sleep, but Friday night turned out to be the most fun I've had in a while, though I'm not at liberty to disclose anything about AIP-related activities (very hush-hush, top-secret) :P  When I got home, I pretty much brushed my teeth and collapsed into my ever-so-comfortable bed without even showering...lol.  Honestly, it's been really hectic ...it's as if I got sucked up in a tornado, and all the while, I'm clinging desperately onto something, any semblance of a normal lifestyle...like eating normally, sleeping normally, doing normal things like chores (which I have not been doing a good job at recently...lol).  And there's really no end to the craziness in sight...I can't remember when I last touched my cello, when I last read for fun, last went to Yogurtland or had ramen at Daikokuya.  The last time I ran was 3 or more weeks ago...I know I'm slowly losing my conditioning and I've already failed my goal at getting my mile time under 5:30.  I used to think a normal life was overrated...but now I'm not so sure

          I'm a pretty independent person, and in undergrad, I almost never relied on anyone or asked anyone for anything because I didn't want to be a hassle and for the most part, I felt that I could handle everything on my own anyways.  In fact, I was used to being the one asked for help...but now, more and more, I realize that I am not going to make it on my own anymore and that I need to learn to depend on my classmates, and more so, my pledge mates, pledge family, and other actives, because we are all in this together and none of us can get through this alone.  Recent times are proof of that, so thank you to all of you for the past two weeks...

...and ready or not, here come the next two! >_<

                However, on to school itself....  needless to say, it's been really busy.  The first few weeks of class were really exciting... a lot like that feeling you get when you're a wide-eyed freshman who just stepped onto college campus and everything is new to you. 

     Everything in pharmacy school was new to me...starting at 8:00 in the morning, at least 4 hours of class everyday; I have to get up before the crack of dawn if I am to catch the school shuttle on time to get to class on the health sciences campus.  If we were lucky, there were no extra classes and we could go home, to the cafe for lunch, or to the medical library when classes ended at noon.  I don't think I've had classes for that long continuously since high school days.  On days with extra classes (which happens just about half of the time), I'd expect to stay until 4 or 5.  It's really exhausting, but somehow, I find it really fun.  Maybe the knowledge that my classmates around me are equally tired helps to get me through the day.  Misery does enjoy company after all.  Kidding of course.  It's not that I enjoy seeing them suffer...it's just knowing that I have no right to complain because everyone is going through the same thing.

               Between classes, we get a 10-minute break or so, which is really nice because I would not want to sit for 4 hours straight.  Sometimes, I take a walk or go to the cafe in the adjacent building to grab a coffee or snacks.  It's always amusing when I see a classmate heading back to class with coffee in hand and we exchange laughs and/or complaints about how little sleep we got or how much readings we have to do.  It's even funnier if one or both of us have panda eyes...I'm sure that even without words, we know how the other person is feeling.

     The lectures are manageable for the most part.  I would have to say some professors need to work on their delivery skill or just put a little more energy into speaking though.  The classes we have as first-year students are:

~Pharmaceutics
~Biological systems
~Biochemical & Molecular Sites of Drug Actions
~Pharmacy Practice Skills
~Pharmacy Practice & Experience
~Healthcare Delivery

               I think my favorite class is pharmaceutics so far...it's very conceptual, and once you grasp the main concepts, you can apply it to solve all the problems.  Organic chem was one of my strengths, so I had no worries there.  The thought that I'll be able to contribute something to my case study group is comforting.
     Biosystems is extremely tedious for me...there is just such an immense amount information to know and memorization is not one of my strengths, so I know I will have to work extra hard.
               Biochem, like biosystems, is a lot of memorization.  Thankfully, I was a biochem major so I think that has been helping me pick up the information more easily.  The lectures are a bit ridiculous though...the professor blows through material as if he were a madman on amphetamines....not one person I have talked to has said that they could absorb everything he covers in a lecture. It means more self-studying for us.
               Pharmacy Practice Skills is a pretty informative class with great lecturers.  It's a bit of work, but not difficult at all, and the material is interesting.  Thanks to this class, I'll be certified to give flu shots (or any other type of intramuscular or subcutaneous shots) soon, to the dismay of my friends who might, if they are lucky, receive them from me if they are at the right place at the right time.
             Pharmacy Practice & Experience...now this is where things get interesting.  The leadership course is really discussion-intensive, which is kind of nice for a change since we don't really have discussions in normal lectures.  A lot of small-group presentations as well.  The externship part of the course is completely another topic on its own....maybe I'll write about it some other day.
          Healthcare Delivery is one of my least favorite classes...We learn about health insurance, HMOs, Medicare, Medigap, the flow of money through healthcare systems, and basically why healthcare costs are so difficult to control.  It can sometimes be interesting, there's too much politics and money involved, which always makes for a depressing, but nevertheless necessary topic.
        
         

 
I just got back from the welcome reception for first year students at the USC School of Pharmacy.  I'm recovering from a cold I just got a few days ago, and I'm loaded to the extreme with work, so I was debating earlier whether or not I should go or not...I don't regret going.  I talked to so many people tonight, resulting in a throbbing pain that made even swallowing difficult, due to my already sore throat.

But after coming out tonight, my excitement for going into pharmacy was renewed, more than ever before.  The students and professors talked about so many aspects of pharmacy and pharmacy school, I admit I felt a bit overwhelmed... in a good way, if that makes any sense at all.  The people seem amazing, the school seems amazing, the experience seems amazing.  I can't wait to start this coming fall. 

Now the only thing between me and pharmacy school is this term paper for Applications of Molecular Biology to Medicine due on Monday, which I am completely and utterly screwed for.  In fact, I really should not even be posting at all.  I suppose I just can't contain my excitement much.  Perhaps it wasn't wise to load up on so many science classes this semester..."It's my last semester...I can take a beating," I thought.  Now that I think about it, I didn't actually expect to receive any beating, and now I'm going to suffer the consequences for being rash and over-confident.  However, the fact that I have never ever been so screwed in my life before as I am now hasn't really sunk in.  Okay, so I don't need this class, but I can't drop it (or any other class) for other reasons, and I'll kill myself before I get a C... (B is cutting it, but right now, I'd be content)  If I die, I can't go to pharmacy school...

Someone slap some sense into me!